AT THE MOVIES: "Wanted" - Good for all your Homies and Beeyatches!

PHOTO: Eat something "Angie" Jolie! PLEASE!

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Sick jumps and plenty of curving bullets!  This ain't your father's summer action/adventure flick!  Don’t rent this one however, it's not a take-home movie...  It’s meant for a frosty airconditioned big screen on some muggy night when your blazing hot ‘hood is being potentially bullet riddled from driveby temper flareups.

Despite there only being a sixth grade plot, and jam-packed with “there’s no way that could actually happen in real life” action scenes, this film will strap you in and take you whirling through a MATRIX of beauty, rockedout background music, and assinations!

Angelina Jolie, cute (but I wouldn’t date her in this one, not too stable, and not my bag baby with all the trailer ink or "tramp stamps!"), despite at times looking like an emaciated crack whore, played her role with alluring tact, poise, and come-hitherness.  Best scene is, hands down, when she steps out of her healing bath… fake tattoos not really necessary, but it was “all good.”

Despite Angelina’s agelinesque performance, Scottish actor James McAvoy is our hero.  Not only do several women I know think he’s “hot...”  (I don’t see it, but then again I’m not into dudes.)  McAvoy played an interesting roll,  takes a virtual torrential downpour of punches, and is believable in the whole ‘mild mannered’ transformation into "the man who grew a pair” thing.

This wasn’t a full-blown ‘chick flick’ either, even though it had some chick flick tendencies scattered throughout - anything with Jolie in it usually does – it was okay, I quickly learned to deal.  This movie actually has the rare potential to be a very good 'date flick' – NOT a chick flick, huge difference… (most guys who have been tortured into pretending to like a chick flick, usually anything with the word 'wedding' in its title, know what I’m talking about.)

If you’re going to start bitching about the weak plot and the fact that every stunt was not realistic in terms of them not being humanly possible, then you need to stay home!  You don’t get it, and were meant to sit in infront of the television watching endless CNN newscasts.  You probably haven’t kissed a date in the last several years and your face hurts mainly because you’re a freakin’ uptight loser pretenting to be soooo serious and smart all the time!

But if you want to have a good mindless time and forget about the high price of gas for a couple of hours, then I recommend this film with or without overpriced popcorn.  If you’re like me and liked this one, then you’re probably exceptionally attractive and an amazing lover!  People usually refer to you as ‘cool,’ because you are, and you sometimes tell all the serious people around you to “lighten the f’ up” just for the blissful joy of clearing the overcrowded deck.

“Wanted” – worth seeing at an airconditioned cinema only.  ‘Date friendly;’ also good for kickin’ it with your homies and beeyatches!