COUNCILOR CULLUM SPEAKS: Rips HN a new one! [HN VIDEO]

Thursday evening’s Barnstable Town Council Meeting:

To be fair, HN recently accused Town Councilor Jen Cullum of being responsible for allowing the removal of the Hyannis News email from the Barnstable Police Department’s media distribution list, a key part of survival for anyone working the local crime beat.

But in 20-20 hindsight, how could I, or anyone for that matter, ever accuse Councilor Cullum of ever being “responsible” for anything! I’m truly sorry for the mix up.

Mea culpa, mea culpa – I’m heartily sorry for having offended Thee!

Let me clarify – Jen Cullum, I’m fairly certain, was not the unmitigated jackwagon who took it upon herself to arbitrarily retaliate against and remove HN from the public media distribution list simply for writing the truth, or in other words, writing something not agreeable with the current police administration.

And Jen Cullum probably wasn’t the vindictive banana-head who went into the Barnstable Police media email distribution list, thinking “lets (once again) remove HN’s email because he’s a threat to our current regime … and he’s reporting things that make us look like a bunch of drunken ASS-paragus munchers…”

And I doubt Cullum is the actual corrupt fool who actually physically removed HN from that list…

… I’ll give her all that.

BUT Jen Cullum is a long standing member of the Barnstable Town Council, and she also happens to be the councilor representing my precinct, therefore she’s one of the two highest members of town government as it pertains to my residency here. (The other being Mark Ells, the Town Manager)

In fact, I initially went to Councilor Cullum because she had always professed the need for more accountability in our town. Which is why I became very confused when Ms. Accountability wouldn’t do more than briskly refer me back to the Chief of Police, after setting up a “meeting” with the very man who broke past promises, destroyed past trusts, and lorded over encounters he would be pleased to call “meetings,” but were actually nothing more than tense sit-downs with his team of administrative backup witnesses, hovering over the awkward “conversation” which basically amounted to a one-sided snow-job to cover up for past administrative sins and abuses – and that one time, when a wayward police thug wanted to smash my face in with my very own camera — there was also that lovely experience…

… let that love flow baby! Let it grow, let it grow… let it blossom, let it flow!

Thanks, but no thanks. It’s now way too late for any sort lovefest without an apology first. Which will never come… so why bother.

And at tonight’s town council meeting, things were going rather smoothly… almost delightfully. Town Manager Mark Ells had come over and shook hands, being his friendly adorable self… urging me to meet with both him and “Dear Leader,” Chief Paul MacDonald, somewhere out back.

… but that notion sort of died, as I wasn’t quite feeling frisky yet, nor in the mood… but Ells and I still managed a brief cuddle and he went on his way.

Things were warming up…

… but then Cullum suddenly snatched her mic, jumped off her turnbuckle, and tore me new one – which you will see in its entirety — she gave me a definitive thrashing – and I probably deserved it because I hadn’t realized how ridiculous it is to hold Cullum, or Ells, responsible for anything… when in fact they don’t hold any authority or significant purpose, and are essentially just figureheads in a quasi-government…

… glorified members of Dear Leader’s court.

So it’s, “No more press releases for you!” (Sucks being HN right now… everybody hiding press releases and sh*t…)

Again, mea culpa! I get it now 🙁 This is Chief MacDonald’s town, we just live in it.

CALL TO ACTION: Also, please feel free to reach out to the Barnstable Police Admin and express your condolences for them being so petrified of Hyannis News getting those public press releases that everyone else gets – Barnstable Police Chief Paul MacDonald – 508-280-7374 – Extension 7 – Then Press 6 to speak with his assistant Donna Silva, who happens to be a very congenial woman who represents the police admin a lot better than some of the others — we’ve spent many pleasant afternoon moments together on the phone in the past, whenever I’ve wasted my valuable time trying to reach the chief — in the days when he was always actively blowing me off… you know, when relations were “good…” and everybody loved one another…

FINALLY, in closing, I’ll let poor wrongly maligned Barnstable Town Councilor Jen Cullum have the last word – (I feel so ashamed of myself right now — wrongly accusing Cullum of actually holding any authority at all — I can barely stand it… but we must move past that and forge onward!)

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P.S. – This Hytown Vignette is brought to you by Eric Clapton… 🙂 [CRANK IT!]

P.S. – The following is a HN public service announcement on alcohol abuse and drunk driving… Please have a very SAFE and SPLENDIFEROUS weekend! [PRESS PLAY]