(UPDATED VIDEO) Strife Sucks…

…but Hyannis News will continue to roll with it for the time being.

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You may want to play this video while reading this piece; it may actually help in its digestion…

Check out John Bonham when he starts smashing on those drums!  (just after the 1st chorus...) Ever feel like that?

(press play)

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It’s sometimes referred to as a mid-life crisis.  A time, usually in a man’s life, where wisdom consistently tells him that things are better left alone.    

A time when good friends look at him with concern, reminding him of all that he has accomplished and earned to date.  Telling him to “lay low” and bide his time. 

A time when he hears their sagacious advice with envy...  They are absolutely right for all the “right” reasons. 

A time when a man sometimes wishes he could be more like them.

But it’s also a time when he ignores all convention.  He smiles at his friends and plows right on ahead and makes a mess out of his life anyway. 

It’s possible he may triumph in finding what he seeks.  But in most cases he accomplishes more disharmony, and if he’s lucky, the chance to start all over again.  A new life… a new dog… a sports car… hair transplants… better abs…  a better wife… whatever. 

I know all about the “mid-life crisis,” having been perpetually committed to the phenomenon for the past 20 years.

But having confessed all that, I wouldn’t change a thing if given the chance to magically start over and give it all another whack. 

You see I’m a HyTown child.  A product of this mess we now live in.  I remember times when everyone would agree that HyTown would be the best place to raise a child. 

Would Hyannis now be your first choice on a where you would choose to raise a child?  One you cared about?

There must be a better place.  Perhaps Centerville?  Marstons Mills?  West Barnstable?  I don’t know. 

Maybe there’s another land of milk and honey.  Maybe there’s something out there that’s better.  I could become a monk and live a monastic existence picking apples on the side of some mountain some place.  I could study Karate and meditate all day long, like the old dude that taught Grasshopper in the movie Kung Fu.  Living in perfect equanimity… but wait... would the temple allow women?  Now there’s a problem already.  I don’t remember seeing too many hot Karate chicks in the Kung Fu movie or series...  What's up with that? 

I’ve done Mexico, Bangkok, Boston, Penikese, and Martha’s Vineyard.  All interesting pictures and amazing in their own right… but as usual, time gave way to wanderlust and I found myself elsewhere once again.

Actually lived in Centerville briefly and found the natives quite friendly.  Most of the houses looked the same and if you visited a neighbor you knew how to find the bathroom without instruction.

But HyTown has been my “home base” for most of my life.  For some reason I keep coming back thinking things will be different. 

And I’m never disappointed.  Hyannis is always different.  From the freaks to the criminals, there’s always new blood… and the slow traffic makes you feel like you have a life to get actually get to.  You sit there in traffic and act frustrated… and suddenly you feel like somebody, an important somebody, works for me… “Look there’s more roadwork,” you think to yourself…  and did I just see a man urinating on the side of that drug store?  “And look here, that big fat woman in the banged-up minivan full of kids all hanging out the windows just gave me the finger!”  Ah… the sites and sounds of HyTown, makes you forget about all your worries… 

And Hytown Fashion, now there’s a treat if you haven’t seen the cutting edge LOOKS displayed on our under construction boulevards.  My all-time favorite outfit was on the hottest day of the year when I saw a young man sporting his new “gangsta” look, “shorts” down to his ankles, a white “wife beater,” and to top it all off, what appeared to be an oven mitt, silver on one side, checkered on the other, hanging gingerly on the side of his ‘fro.  For the rest of the summer I referred to this fashion visionary as “Oven Mitt,” or just “Mitt for short… I would greet him from time to time from out my car window, stuck in traffic, “YO, WAZ UP MITT!”  He would either nod, or sometimes just gave me a short “s’up?”   I wouldn’t trade those moments for all the tea in China!

Now here’s “Mitt,” a young product of HyTown, just like me, who woke up one morning and tried something different!  He probably said to himself, “Damn, it’s muddafuckin hot!… I think I’m gonna wear this here muddafuckin oven mitt around and see if people notice.”  Well Mitt, I noticed and I understand completely bro.  You’re a mover and a shaker.  You’re “HyTown,” baby, and that’s what we do, we move and we shake.  Well you made my day Mitt!  Keep on keepin' on… and G.L.O.

People ask me if I’m fixing to leave HyTown and I don’t know for sure.  They say stupid things like “it’s the same wherever you go.”  That’s bullshit, it’s never the same… and you can’t tell me that there's someplace else out there like HyTown. 

Honestly, when I do feel like getting "out of Dodge," it’s always people like Mitt that change my mind.   (I think for now on I’m going to refer to this sudden change of heart as “The Mitt Effect.”)   Most people from Hyannis know what I’m saying and have experienced this at one time or another.  The Mitt Effect is that enlightened moment when you suddenly realize that yah, HyTown is a mess, but you know what, it’s MY mess.  Sure, this place can suck.  But one good thing about Hyannis is that you never need to go very far if you need to see something different. 

So for the immediate future Hyannis News will roll with the strife and I'll be looking for things around the kitchen to rock on my head.  Rock on HyTown MyTown!  Here's just one more video for all the fine ghetto-ass HyTown women who keep it real and never are offended by the occasional discouraging word.  (press play) Peace.