CATCH & RELEASE: Sole reveler discovered passed-out on sidewalk...

HN NOTES:

HYANNIS – Whenever a lawman discovers some poor drunken soul alone and comatose on one of our fine downtown sidewalks, it typically means a good solid night of rest and contemplation in our local pokey…

… but some were born with a proverbial “horseshoe up their arse.” As was the case last evening, when a typical Hytown experience unfolded, one shared by our partying “tourists” and burgeoning contingent of homeless alcoholics.

The spectacle of gravity challenged alcoholics and drug addicts ramps up as we enter the warmer months. Where tourists and summer guests are welcome to take a dive with the best of them – our steadily growing number of those in need of serious help and outpatient care.

But what happens when that final “bracer” fails, as it did with this morning’s fallen reveler? Well, it ain’t pretty, I’ll tell yah that.

Hopefully a cop will happen by and scrape you off the sidewalk sooner than later – as happened last evening. And hopefully you’re also lucky enough to have friends realize you’ve suddenly gone sideways, as was the case for last evening’s fortunate inebriated soul – his friends came by with what essentially amounted to a “get out jail free card” (A.K.A. relative sobriety) right as officers were stuffing their beloved long lost pal into the backseat of a Barnstable squad car – the cops seemed all too happy (and who could blame them) to allow the relatively sober friends to take over the “babysitting” responsibilities for the duration…

This happens 24-7 this time of year.

But you know what also has been seemingly happening a lot more than usual in recent days in our “family friendly” downtown tourist district? Over-served alcoholics relieving themselves on the side of downtown buildings and business establishments.

Yesterday alone, police responded to at least two separate calls regarding someone publicly urinating out in plain view on Main Street. In broad daylight! These calls seem to be suddenly springing up more and more in the last couple of weeks.

Is this a new downtown trend? Is it time for our local “government” to “spring” into action, looking for solutions? Like perhaps strategically placing “porta potties” on every 100 feet of sidewalk in the area of the JFK Museum and Village Green? (LOL… NO! Lord help us!!!)

In the area of the docks, I’ve noticed the town has placed several stations that dispense plastic bags to help dog owners pick up after their beloved pets (which is a great idea, by the way)…

… and I’m sort of just “thinking out loud” here… but, should we also be looking for sanitary ways to pick up and clean up after our growing numbers of beloved incontinent tourists and homeless?

Diaper stations? Environmentally friendly ones?

I’m sure if our local leadership collectively puts their minds to it, they’ll find some sort of “green” solution which will make things more pleasant and “inclusive” for everyone out and about, you know, enjoying the local art and downtown tourist offerings; I mean nobody really wants to see some guy named “Big Richard” leaning up against a gift shop letting one rip.

(Unless you’re into that sort of thing…)

P.S. – Today’s Hytown Vignette is brought to you by Steely Dan… [I don’t care if you’re a Crimson Tide fan or not, CRANK IT anyways. Do it! 🙂 ]