HYANNIS, MASSACHUSETTS – [HN PHOTO NOTES & MULLINGS ON THE MATTER] – Just prior to 8:00 p.m. this evening, Barnstable Police and Hyannis Firefighters responded – yet again – to another serious crash with injuries at the notorious intersection of South Street and High School Road. Fortunately, the two individuals transported to Cape Cod Hospital did not suffer life-threatening injuries this time… but nonetheless!

ADDITIONAL HN MULLINGS: Since the mid-1980s, HN has observed countless crashes at the intersection of South Street and High School Road.  A couple were fatal.  I have also covered scenes where pedestrians have been struck. It’s a bad intersection that sits close to schools and a residential program for young mothers. In addition, South Street is well known to be one of the town’s last drag strips, where souped-up shitboxes driven by incredibly tiny, impotent boys, weave their pieces of crap down the two one-way lanes of traffic towards the hospital, vying for the coveted prize of being first at the Ocean Street lights. The drivers of these souped-up shitboxes are called “morons.” They serve no useful purpose and don’t give a rat’s ass about putting others in harm’s way. And worst of all, these tiny morons like to make themselves heard by revving engines and squealing tires. It makes them feel bigger than they really are. But this is nothing new… this noisy, treacherous Hyannis speedway has been hurting, maiming, and killing people for years…

… and our overpaid government freaks couldn’t give a rat’s ass either. We are a twisted society held captive by freaks and morons. A society that has figured out how to build wonderful art shanties and brightly colored cubes, yet still hasn’t a single clue on how to effectively slow traffic on South Street. Furthermore, our advanced, extremely creative brains also remain completely baffled on how to finally stop these life-threatening, high-speed crashes that have been happening at South and High School for decades.  And, alas, the carnage will likely continue for generations to come because of our long, proud Barnstable tradition of fostering overpaid freaks and reckless morons…

But wait, I suddenly have an idea!  It just occurred to me out of thin air and its a little “out there,” so please hear me out:

How about lining the entire length of South Street with brightly colored plywood cubes! You know, to “spark discussion and raise awareness…”

… as only colorful cubes have been known to do since the dawn of civilization.  Yes, by George, well placed cubes most certainly should take care of it!  I feel safer already!  If I must say so myself…

P.S. – Today’s Hytown Vignette is a brought to you by The Marine Rapper… [CLICK IT/CRANK IT! HEADPHONES ABSOLUTELY OBLIGATORY!]

Business Card Directory

Add your business card click here