HYANNIS – [HN NOTES] – “We’re one hell of a rugged rock ’em, sock ’em tough town!” And once again, it was ‘fists of fury’ as alarmed bystanders called the cops. At least two Friday night “adult” male revelers started working their Jackie Chan moves on one another… right there on the sidewalk, next to the JFK Museum, just before the bars closed down last evening.

Welcome to Hytown.

As you will see and hear in the following HN Video, some are calling the deciding blow a “sucker punch,” while another witness spoke with HN off-camera, describing what was most definitely a “ground and pound.”

If you listen carefully to the video, one of the involved males on scene gave his expert opinion as to why the fight eventually went to the ground – a risky move, especially if you’re drunk and don’t know what you’re doing. Listen carefully to the video where he says, “Obviously you’ve been in a fight before, right officer? So, if someone’s coming at me in a fight [distorted radio static] on the ground…” Unfortunately we cannot fully hear his entire statement, but it sounded like this up-and-coming martial artist is an advocate for the ground game. He’s not alone. Officers, however, remained impartial, withholding their personal thoughts on the matter. (Is Taser-kwondo a thing? That would be my first choice…)

The male who got grounded and pounded had his head wrapped up by a Hyannis Rescue crew before eventually being stuffed into a ridesharing vehicle which conveniently showed up in the nick of time to haul his battered and bandaged [self] back to a nearby hotel room.

The other involved males were also free to go, looking quite proud of themselves, if you ask me…

In the Town of Barnstable, we have many downtown events that the public love to come down and watch. We have the Father’s Day car show, Open Streets, Unity Day… to name just a few. Why not have a more organized Friday Night Street Fights? Or Friday Night Fight Club? The fights will happen around bar closings all summer long anyways, why not capitalize on the perennial spectacle. We could hire college kids on summer break. Dress them in bright yellow referee costumes. Give them some first aid kits and lots of band-aides, and teach them how to officiate semi-organized sidewalk donnybrooks. It would be a great way for young weekend martial artists to blow off a little steam…

… or better yet, we could close down the entire street. Set up rings and cages for Hytown cage matches!

It would be a big hit with the drinking crowd.

HN READER: HN! Surely, you jest!

HN: I never jest – and don’t call me Shirley! 😉

[PRESS PLAY]

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P.S. – Hytown Vignette music by Carl Douglas… [CRANK IT!]

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