HALLOWEENIES GONE WILD! And other blustery tales from the overnight… [HN photos]
ABOVE: WITCHING HOUR MADNESS! Patrol officers were in the neighborhood breaking up a fight at a downtown Hyannis watering hole when all hell suddenly broke out on Winter Street. And Barnstable cops are still scratching their heads as to what unearthly force caused a Toyota sedan to go full sideways skidding into a utility pole, snapping it like a carrot. The adult male driver had one heckuva “my bad” look on his face while speaking with police officers and Hyannis FD medics… and he fortunately did not need further medical care. Winter Street was completely closed down between Stevens Street and North Street for the duration of the overnight… and crews are expected to be on scene repairing the pole throughout the remainder of Saturday morning.
EARLIER, ON MAIN STREET, HYANNIS – A PIRATE BOOTY BUSTED!
Word on the plank (or as the story goes), Barnstable coppers got a hot tip about a wobbly young wench in full buccaneer attire, tryin’ to hijack her own vehicle in the downtown area – three sheets to the wind, and zero sea legs. The drunken blaggard nearly weighed anchor onto our roadways, but salty badges caught up and keelhauled her into protective custody faster than a landlubber can squeak “shiver me timbers!”
Well done, lads and lassies!
ABOVE: CALLING ALL CARS! Yarmouth police and firefighters rushed to YPD HQ after a man in his late 50s somehow managed to set an article of clothing on fire in his cell, triggering the fire alarms. The situation was quickly handled, and firefighters reportedly brought in fans to ventilate the jail cells. The fire was reportedly small, but there was some damage. A member of the sheriff’s crime scene unit responded and photographed evidence. The man was transported to the Barnstable Police Department jail, where he remained in custody while officials cleaned up in Yarmouth.
The man (originally from Hyannis) had been a royal pain in the YPD’s arse all evening. Officers were initially called by a concerned ex-girlfriend after he arrived at her residence on a mystery motorcycle. It’s uncertain whether the motorcycle actually belonged to him… and the bike was eventually towed by police. A short while later, he showed up outside a Yarmouth restaurant, reportedly drunk on the front lawn, heckling patrons. Yarmouth Patrol Officers arrived, took him into custody, and transported him to the jail cell he’d later set on fire…
For Halloween, he was reportedly dressed as himself!
ABOVE: LOST IN TRANSLATION? Shortly after 11:00 p.m., Barnstable Police patrol officers responded to an address on the west side of Hyannis after a man called with a disturbing tale; through a language interpreter, dispatchers were initially told he had just stabbed himself in the chest… and that he had done so intentionally… and that he was still in possession of a knife. A Hyannis Fire Department ambulance crew was immediately dispatched to stage in the area. About 5 tense minutes later, the man changed his tune, stating that he did not stab himself and was only thinking about it. Officers eventually made contact with the man, confirming that he was not injured and an ambulance would not be necessary. According to a source, the entire disturbance ended up being some sort of tenant dispute. After peace had finally been restored, a member of the sheriff’s crime scene unit was called in to document evidence. No further details were available at the time of this report.
ABOVE: A young family of trick-or-treaters had to frequently stop and brace their costumes against sudden wind gusts in the downtown Hyannis area last evening. They stuck together as a team, finally managing to stroll out of sight without losing a single hair extension, hat, or candy wrapper.
P.S. – Today’s Hytown Vignette is brought to you by Nina Hagen…
[CLICK IT/CRANK IT! HEADPHONES ABSOLUTELY OBLIGATORY!]
