[HN NOTES & RAMBLINGS] – Hyannis, MA – At about 2:30 a.m. this gentleman appeared sound asleep, but HN ended up pestering him anyways.

I don’t like waking people, but I don’t like seeing people die out here either. Since growing up around here, I’ve seen too many die from merely being without shelter. If someone’s not moving, I’d rather pester than come back later to find them dead.

The gentleman was a good sport, however… insisted he was okay and thanked me for checking, told me to “take care.”

“Thanks, man. You take care too,” I replied. Finally confident he was okay – at least he seemed okay to me – I simply drove off.

The image of someone without a roof in December was perhaps nagging me a little less as I drove away – and for some reason I never want to become accustomed to that perennial reality – but if it was any colder out I would have pestered him a bit more. It’s what I do. I pester…

Sometimes pestering is all I got…

But who knows really? It’s not that I have anything to offer, aside from a word or two… a well placed pester.

“At least it doesn’t hurt to check,” I tell myself. Me, wanting to feel better as I drive away.

Maybe it’s because I’d rather not feel guilty about having a temporary place to lay my own head later. It’s true: I have a bed, at least for the time being. My dog sleeps right next to me… and she’s well fed. It’s a happy thing. I’m very grateful about all that… and for some selfish reason I can’t afford to sacrifice what little I have… so I drive back home toward it… after a little pestering first… you know, so I can sleep better. (There it is again, that word “I.”)

But Lord knows I wouldn’t have those things if it wasn’t for miracles and grace, manifested through the kindness of others… despite being a “rugged individualist,” as one friend once called me. Whatever… the point is, I realized long ago we need others if we want to survive all this for very long.

There’s a brave move I always talk about, as I sometimes threaten in one of my moments of frustration, one of my petty tantrums… to actually completely fly off the rails one day and move to the side of some obscure mountain some place, far away, and perhaps even far above it all… the heroic hermit living a “life of freedom…” living alone with my dog… living “the dream…” But even then, I would still need someone to fix a tooth… remove a kidney stone… grow some of the things I couldn’t… give my furry friend her shots… perhaps even fix my truck, and lastly, deal with my remains when I ultimately kick the bucket.

We need others! Sometimes in ways we cannot fathom in the moment…

… and I’m completely cool with that.

The cop needs the occasional criminal, for example. What if there were no criminals? No need for cops. No need for courts. Bam! Wouldn’t that be nice? (Ha. Don’t hold your breath…)

The firefighter needs the occasional structure fire…

The tow truck driver needs the occasional car to tow…

Even in my simple overnight world of emergencies and calamities, it’s not hard to see that “the needs” go both ways. The cops need their criminals and vice versa…

Now watch, the next time someone gets arrested around here, they’ll turn to the cop and say, “See? I’m doing this for you! You should be thanking me for your job! And you’re welcome, sir!” A pretty twisted view, I know… but true to some degree.

And as the above photo says (and as when one unleashes one’s brain during the wee hours), “Oh, the possibilities…” The twisted thoughts and wild possibilities… like the possibility of having a place to rest one’s head… realizing we all need one another… and that it’s not simply a matter of certain individuals simply “working harder” around here. It’s sometimes more complicated than that… and more completely twisted than all that… I dare say “lopsided,” even…

… but I digress. Sorry. I’ll just leave it at that.

But aside from all “that,” it was relatively mild for this time of year last evening. And the cold snaps are definitely on their way, usually arriving sooner than later… and that’s when it gets particularly dangerous for those without shelter. It seems like every year at least one (or more) of the homeless freezes to death. Our police routinely do their checks, especially when the temps plummet drastically… and yes, there are emergency resources available… but it’s not always a simple deal… not always as simple as having available resources, here and there… for those actually willing to accept the help and play by the rules, etc… It’s complicated. As weird as this may sound, some individuals prefer the “freedom” of the street, their own wiles and ways, to the existing available resources, for one reason or another… it’s so incredibly complicated…

… twisted and complicated…

Just work harder some say. Shake off that mental illness with a little pep talk some say.

With a little elbow grease, you too can have the Cape Cod dream! Complete with a spouting whale tie and club membership…

Perhaps those who simply say “buck up!” have it right. “Bucking up” being the answer to everyone’s problems.

Perhaps it’s that simple… Imagine if it was only that simple!

“Oh, the possibilities…”

(Thanks for putting up with my ramblings from the wee hours… Have a nice day.)

P.S. – Today’s Hytown Vignette music is brought to you by Persephone’s Bees… [CLICK IT/CRANK IT!]

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