by Kristy Spinelli

Being a daughter of a former pastor I feel I have pretty good idea of what “religion” is. I grew up in a safe, small town in the Midwest where the Bible was taught not only in church but at school. I never even questioned my faith…that was until I moved to the Cape my Senior year of High School. It was the first time I was questioned about what I really believed and met people of different “religions” with different outlooks and beliefs than I had. I heard, “I have a relationship with Jesus” for the first time and thought hard at what that term really meant. Going to church multiple times during the week and going to a Christian school provided me a “religious” background and having a father as a pastor always provided me a quick answer for any doubt or question I had. I was surrounded by good people, families that were not affected by divorce, friends who’s family was similar to mine and genuine caring people…what REAL problems did I have??? What I found though is I NEVER questioned any of my religious upbringing and teachings, I lived them, thought they were MY belief’s when really all they were, were OTHER people’s beliefs.

At 18 I found myself confused why I was not taught how other people worshiped, what they believed and how different religions saw right and wrong. I met people of all faiths and was overwhelmed by how differently they believed and interpreted the Bible. I was taught not to drink, go to the movies, not to have premarital sex, no TV and to limit possible poor influences into my life. What that really did was stir up my curiosity to see what “fun” I was missing out on. It also made me start to stand up for things and beliefs I was developing in my own mind and pushing me toward that “relationship with Jesus” rather than stating my religious thoughts and convictions.

I do not attend church. I used to feel guilty about it but I really had to stop and realize WHY I was going in the first place. I was guilty when I didn’t go because of my parents love of going and their prompting…I felt guilty for going with a hard heart. I saw hypocrisy first hand when I went through a messy divorce that involved abuse and people instead of embracing and caring for me, judged me. I could still pray and worship on my own…I could still have a “relationship with Jesus” by not stepping into a church just for show. I was quietly worshiping and dealing with my own demons and being real with those who loved me and wanted to understand my hurt. It was then that healing started and I realized how much my religion had truly moved to a relationship…something far more personal and private rather than that outward appearance of everything being okay.

Maybe “religion” should be replaced with a “relationship”…after all what that really means is your beliefs are truly your own not put together by a church or a domination but a true commitment to what is in your heart. I understand that for some people going to church is an outward showing of your faith…to me, that is just being concerned about what other people think of me. I would rather worship at the beach on a quiet morning alone, omitting the distraction of trying to impress others how well I have my life together on a Sunday morning dressed up and smiling through my inward chaos.

See you at the beach.

5/18/2014

Kristy’s Korner
by Kristy Spinelli, spinelliscoop@hotmail.com

Kristy is a local writer and Hyannis News contributor. Her views, opinions, and observations will deal with a wide range of topics surrounding our local HyTown culture. Kristy’s views do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Hyannis News, but in the true spirit of freedom of expression are intended to entertain and create discussion. Feel free to add your own thoughts in the facebook comment section below… or you may also contact Kristy directly at spinelliscoop@hotmail.com.

#KristySpinelli
#HyannisNews

Business Card Directory

Add your business card click here