ROUGH NIGHT FOR HYANNIS PATROLS: The usual radio issues, intoxicated woman with pants down on Main Street, etc… then suspicious person allegedly swinging stick, led officers on brief foot chase, tried to slip cuffs, kicked out cruiser window in traffic, while officers scrambled to prevent escape, needed to be strapped to restraint chair… [HN AUDIO]
UPDATE: HN has also learned that the suspect is accused of biting and severely harming two police officers… HN will provide official updates ASAP…
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INITIAL HN REPORT:
HYANNIS – [HN NOTES] – The evening shift began with the usual problems, police radios went on the blink, again, forcing the patrol force to switch over to a backup channel…
… also, officers had to hunt down a frequent visitor to their female jail cells, this time Ms. Drunkypants (not her real name) was reportedly creating a scene in front of a Main Street bistro, allegedly had her pants down at one point, Lord knows for what reason, but it was suppertime and I’m quite confident the diners didn’t appreciate the sideshow.
Then at about 6:30 p.m., a squad car was dispatched to the area of Yarmouth Road for a report of a suspicious male wandering around while swinging a stick. Now normally, that type of behavior wouldn’t faze most Hytonians, especially if it were just a passing thing, but the caller was concerned that this particular stick swinger just wouldn’t go away; nobody appreciates a tenacious stick swinger that just sort of, you know, lingers – I don’t care where you live, tenacious lingering stick swingers tend to wear on one’s nerves, especially on a Friday after a long work week.
It wasn’t long before a patrolman spotted the alleged stick swinger, which should have been a simple call, where the officer would say something like, “hey buddy, would you mind taking your stick and swinging it somewhere else? People are starting to call…”
In most cases, your typical conscientious stick swinger would realize and reply, “yeah, sorry about that. You’re quite right. It’s true, I have sort of been lingering on private property while swinging this here stick. My bad. I think if I put my mind to it, I could come up with a much better place to go and swing this here stick. Sorry to trouble you officer. I know you guys are quite busy. Especially on a Friday when your radios have gone on the blink, again!”
And the Hytown patrolman would normally respond with something like, “hey thanks fella; and thanks for being a team player! You know, some of our local parks are open to 9:00 p.m., and, if you were to swing your stick there, far away from others mind you, I don’t think many would really care, as long as you didn’t act like a lunatic and put others in fear. Anyways, I’ll catch you on the flip-side buddy…” – punctuating his parting remarks with an enthusiastic thumbs up.
And that would be that.
But tonight’s alleged stick swinger had other ideas, like allegedly taking off running and leading officers on a brief foot chase that ended along the train tracks behind DJ’s Wings.
Kelesto Salmon, age 20, of Hyannis (see 2017 HN File Image at top) was arrested and charged with Disorderly Conduct and Trespassing on Railroad Property. But those wouldn’t be the last charges our suspect would rack up this evening…
While being transported back to Barnstable Police Headquarters for the booking process – and as you will hear in the following HN Audio – Salmon allegedly began trying to slip out of his handcuffs, causing the officer to request permission to use lights and sirens in order to expedite their return to the station.
While in the area of Route 132 and Airport Road, the suspect then allegedly kicked out a rear window of the cruiser (it was an older cruiser, one without the window bars). As you will hear, officers scrambled to assist the patrolman with the kicked out window and the suspect was reportedly re-secured for the duration of his passage to jail, where concerned officers awaited with a restraint chair and straps.
The suspect was eventually booked with an additional charge of Injury to Real or Personal Property. [DEVELOPING]
* All suspects are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.
[HN AUDIO – PRESS PLAY]
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P.S. – Hytown Vignette music by Pancho Sanchez… [CRANK IT! USE HEADPHONES! SMOKE CIGARETTES IF YOU GOT ‘EM!]
You’d be surprised who can read HN and not let it get them down…














