*** WATCH *** Got drunk, had gravity issues in the wrong kitchen…

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.”
~ W. C. Fields

HYANNIS – [HN NOTES & MULLINGS ON THE MATTER] – Okay, this is probably where our local drinking community could do a little better. (And whatever happened to the “buddy system?”) How often does some poor Hytown homeowner wake in the dead of night, only to find some random drunk guy on the floor of his kitchen? It happens way too often! And it shouldn’t! You go to the kitchen for a midnight snack, maybe some milk and cookies… and there it is again, some guy you don’t know passed out in front of the fridge.

It’s annoying! And frankly, I’m becoming a little worried and concerned.

(It’s also a rookie move. If you’re going to be a drinker, it stands to reason that at some point you’d need to develop a firm set of rules. For instance, “make sure you don’t cross the threshold of other people’s homes” would have to be one of them. And there should be others, like don’t drink and drive, etc… but the not crossing the threshold of other homes rule needs to be somewhere near the top of your list… in my humble opinion. Cheers, and good luck.)

The call came into Barnstable Police Headquarters as suspicious activity around 1:24 a.m., with the caller stating an unidentified male had just fell down in his kitchen. The caller was unable to discern whether the gravity-challenged stranger was conscious and breathing, or not… nor was he able to provide any additional information whatsoever.

And as you will see and hear in the following HN Video, the cops arrived first, followed by an ambulance. It took a little coaxing, but first responders were eventually able to get the drunk guy back on his feet. Aside from being completely sloshed, the man was eventually able to identify himself. And officers soon learned he lived nearby and had simply barged into the wrong house. There was, however, the matter of the damaged door but officers were tending to believe his story and had to take into account whether the intrusion was intentional or not. The incidental intruder was handcuffed and placed in protective custody for the time being. And while being led to the cruiser, he managed to entertain at least one officer. I don’t know what was said – it was drowned out by blubbering laughter – but the two new acquaintances had an outburst of hee-hawing that had the effect of turning a serious, possibly life-threatening incident into “just another day in the hood” – Hytown style. And it suddenly became apparent this morning’s random drunk intruder guy was having a real barrel of fun on his way to the hoosegow. A mildly refreshing rarity these days…

HN spoke briefly with the Barnstable Police desk sergeant on duty, and at the time of this report everyone was still trying to decide what to do with the wandering stranger. So, for now, he’s facing protective custody, along with a splitting headache come morning.

[HN VIDEO – PRESS PLAY]