[HN NOTES & MULLINGS ON THE MATTER]

When they finally finish “The Little Big Dig” in Hyannis, where Yarmouth Road meets Route 28, I’m guessing it will probably be one of the most amazing intersections in the History of Mankind! (That’s if and when they finish.)

So, please be patient, because we’re witnessing a brand-new “Eighth Wonder of the New World” being built right before our very eyes! And when this is all done, I’m envisioning sparkling SUVs loaded with happy families, overflowing picnic baskets, and school busses full of totally enthralled children visiting the famous Little Big Dig site on field trips and weekend getaways. And – I don’t know if this is true or not – but I’m told there might even be an observation platform for visitors, with coin operated binoculars and carnival food vendors! That vacant lot where the old Mildred’s Chowder House used to sit, next to the airport? Think “swing sets,” bounce-houses and picnic tables!

I don’t know about you, but I get pumped just thinking about it! – that glorious day when they finally clean up this mess!

It’s also rumored Gordon Lightfoot has been commissioned to write a special new folk song celebrating the “Little Big Dig’s” completion, and it promises to be one of his most inspiring ballads ever! – kind of like his “Canadian Railroad Trilogy,” which would be totally amazing – but hopefully NOT like his “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” which wouldn’t be good – if you know what I mean – and probably the opposite of “totally amazing.” (I just recently learned about this wild rumor – because it’s a wild rumor I actually just started! 😉 )

You know what they say, “Great things come to Cape Codders who wait.” (Well, nobody really ever says that… but I’m saying it now, because I’m trying to be optimistic and “positive” about the entire effed-up, constantly changing “travel lanes,” obstacle courses and sprawling fields of stupid orange barrels – you know, the ones you want to jump out and kick over every once and a while, while in traffic – not to mention the daily “off-roading” experiences and chassis destroying potholes.) So, PLEASE join me in repeating the following “positive” affirmation, “This mess will all come to an end someday, in the years to come, and it’s going to be awesome! I can feel it!” (Keep repeating this until you’re completely stupefied and punch-drunk – better yet, skip it and just get drunk for real, that’s what I do… and it always works for me!)

In the sagacious words of the late, great W.C. Fields, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”

And in the meantime, enjoy our daily traffic, road rages and bumpy commutes. Also – pro tip – I wouldn’t rush out to buy a brand-new car anytime soon… unless it’s one of those monster trucks!

Jus’ sayin’! 😉

P.S. – Today’s Hytown Vignette is a brought to you by Gordon Lightfoot [CLICK IT/CRANK IT!]

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